Well, I just married not long ago, probably 3months, and I've been always thinking about this "mother-in-law & daughter-in-law issues". Just for your information, I'm currently staying in a house consists of 9 people.
As for today, I will stay on the topic as shown in the title. I don't think I have any bad issues with my mother-in-laws like what you see in dramas, but there are certain times that I feel uncomfortable with her. Somehow, I'm glad to say that I've make things work out pretty well.
Looking at this picture, whenever I have problems, sort of "heart problem" about my mother-in-law this picture pop ups. I will never, ever let my husband become the little man, poor guy!
And also, don't ever make you man become the middle man or something like this.... pity him!
So, let's move on to the keyword and examples:
- Communication. I always believe communication is very important. Communicate well will avoid lots of problems such as misinterpreting some words, misunderstanding among each other
- Be understanding. View things from all perspective IF you can. Understand what to do and what not to. eg, if she dislike you go out late, avoid it, but if you have to, tell her why, let her know, I'm sure this new era mother-in-law is very open minded. Or she is way too old to take care your child, we, as a daughter-in-law have to understand an old lady workload is very limited.
- Toleration. Whether you like it or not, just tolerate but in a way you can deal with. Let's say if you know she likes you to make breakfast in the morning, try your best to make. But always bear in mind, if you find it is too troublesome and burden yourself, speak out, share it, who knows she will like to lend her helping hands? Or perhaps, you are the only one who do all the cleaning and washing all the plates and you are so fed up with the house members, tell them, they will understand and help. Just in case, there are someone who refuse and pretend to not help, just deal with it, tolerate with it.
- Patient. I learn to be very patient with everything going on, sometimes I like it , sometimes I don't. But you know what, a good relationships with family members, especially the new ones need time to nurture the love and bond between each other. Only with a very patient heart, people will know that you are a good and nice person and accept you with a open heart.
- Respect. Even though, she is not the one who give birth to you, but without her you might not have your current husband. Respect her as the elder member of the family. A good relationship between daughter and mother-in-law consists of respect instead of obey. You respect her and know that she can guide you to be a good wife, a good person. I respect my mother-in-law because without her, I will not have a good husband which she has taught and raised with all her time and love. Respect her not because she has the authority/ or she is the queen in the house. Respect her because she deserves it, after all she has been working so hard all her time for the family.
- Love. Have you ever heard that love can melt the hardest heart? I know, some mother-in-law can be very barbarian and very hard to deal with. Sometimes, you might even think or ask, don't they love you as their daughter or part of the family members. Let me tell you, time will tell everything and reflect everything. As long as you show her your true colors, your love towards her son and the family, the frozen heart can be thawed.
- Mother & Son Time. Since we all stay under 1 roof, there are times where your man need his mom and his mom needs him. I allow this happen every single day. When it comes to business, we are still young and new, so, my husband will seek for his mom's idea & suggestions. And also, time for my husband to care about his mom's health and a bit of chit chatting time. Or maybe sometimes the mother need son to help her out on something. We must know and understand, we married to her son NOT to grab her son away from her. Instead, this little action will let her love you more and she will be very happy for your understanding.
Short notes for the daughter-in-law & mother-in-law :
Lastly, I hope my sharing and tips help. Whenever you are angry with your mother-in-law, think about how hard she raised your husband, think about her good instead of the tiny mistakes/bad. What will happen to your husband, stand between his wife and mother? How hard it will be for him? Be a good and understanding wife will make him happy and love you more, seriously, he will be really grateful. A good relationship between family members will also bring harmony to the entire family.