January began with much of loves, hopes and joys. As usual I enjoy the journey of my life with families and hectic work life. Chinese New Year fell on February, lots of preparations done with my mom and in-laws.
February was a sweet month. I love February so much, it was the month of Chinese New Year, my birthday month and Valentine's Day. This year was special as it was the last time I celebrate New Year eve with my parents, siblings and grandparents. According to Chinese customs, once the daughter had married, they can only back to celebrate CNY with her own family on the 2nd day of CNY. On CNY eves and 1st day of CNY, married daughter will have to stay at her husband's family. It was the last time I celebrated with my beloved grandpa. Besides, I managed to persuade him for cataract surgery. It was a tough decision, but for a 92 year old man, he was so brave. Since I wasn't off to my hometown on my birthday, my mother-in-laws and hubby gave me a very heart warming birthday celebration and I'm very grateful and thankful for what God gave to me.
March was a big month for my brother and parents. He finally graduated from university. My parents and I attended the graduation ceremony. It was the birthday month for my dad and hubby. Sadly, because of very packed working schedule, I missed my dad birthday celebration, left him at home with my mom and siblings waiting for me to be back. I was sorry for that. On 27th, a new family member was born. My sister-in-law gave birth, it was a little baby girl. She was the cutest, seeing her growing up everyday was a blessing.
April was another busy month. We were so busy submit our income tax. It was all about busy, and I was so regret for not spending more times with the old folks in my family. Till then....
May, I managed to grab the opportunity visited my parents and had a wonderful Mother's Day with my beloved mom. Well, to be fair and square, I did celebrate Mother's Day with my mother-in-law too. That's how life goes on.
June more birthday celebration. I missed my final chance to talk with my grandpa aka my mom's dad. He was very ill. Yet, I was still busy with my work and didn't even pay him a visit during his sick period. He was barely able to recognize my mom. Once awhile he will murmured about his life and asked when will he die. How sad! As people aged, especially the older family members, health and memories will be defeated by time.
July was a month of grievance. Grandpa passed away. Mom phoned me in the middle of night, she was crying. I was sad and broke into tears. I knew the taste of childhood soymilk and tofu is gone FOREVER. Grandpa worked very hard throughout his life. He was a great friend with soy bean and although his hands was rough, the soymilk and tofu made by his tasted incredibly yummy. I rushed back home and back to mom's hometown. For a week until grandpa's funeral. It was my 1st time experienced the lost a family members without a chance of saying goodbye nor I LOVE U grandpa. The whole month was terrible and tiring for me to go through. Other than that, hubby and his sister bought a new Samsung Galaxy SIII as birthday present to his mom, my mother-in-law. All of a sudden, I realized I've been staying too far apart from my family. With the loss of my grandpa, more concentration of my other grandpa aka my dad's papa was been given.
August. The aftermath effect was still huge in my heart. Hubby and I started to busy planning our wedding. We had to meet up with the wedding studio planner,the photographer, gown testing etc. Mom was more nervous than I. I started my diet journey again. Besides, each time I backed to my hometown, dad will bring me to visit my grandpa. Grandpa didn't know he was on cancer fighting, each time he asked I will lie to him, saying that he will be okay and recover after finished all of his appointment and injections from hospital. Dad was very worried about grandpa's health, he was thinner and I was sad to see grandpa in such bad condition. Thank God, he was cheerful everyday. The priest will come for house visiting and pray for him.
September night was fulled with phone calls. Grandpa fell down when he was trying to walk to his bed. He was shocked and mom drove hims to hospital. Dad and brother rushed to hospital. The night was long and scary. Brother told me grandpa seems to die soon. Heartbeat was stronger than ever. Soon after, he wasn't able to walk. Dad came to my pharmacy and bought some rehab for grandpa. Supplements and home care was arranged and given to grandpa. Uncles and aunties applied long leaves, by planed, by car or by bus, one by one came back to visit grandpa. We all knew very well, grandpa was very old and need support from us. Mom will send pork with oyster porridge to him every week. After grandpa tasted, he will phone to by mom thank her and praise her delicious cook. Mom was very happy. I had my pre-wedding photo shooting too. It was tiring.
October, again dad, mom and brother was busy back and forth from hospital. Grandpa cannot passed urine. He became very anxious and barely able to walk. Dad bought more supplements and fed grandpa, sometimes he refused to eat. It was the month I last visited him at his house before he was admitted to hospital for 2weeks and again back to hospital. During my visits, he will immediately asked my aunties to make him a bowl of oat with Glucerna milk powder. Sipping fast from the bowl, and then gulping all into his stomach. Aha... he told me he wanted to walk without the walking cane. No choice but to lie and give him hopes, I told him as long as he willing to eat, he will recover. I told him he must try his best to eat even with no appetite, then only he will be alright and able to attend my wedding on December. The impact after he felt on floor was huge but no one realized because we was not told. Actually he had internal bleeding in his brain, which leads him unable to talk. He was in great pain. Still he sang songs and prayed to The Mighty Lord, I believe he found peace and comfort from that. During his time in hospital, hubby bought me a new phone, I received updated from uncles and aunties who took care of grandpa in hospital every single day. I'm happy to receive watsapp update but the sadness grew stronger each day.
November angels came, I believed. Grandpa was gone. I managed to see him before he exhaled his last breath. Another funeral was attended by me and parents. Deep in my heart, I will always remember and be grateful for once I had such a nice, loving, caring, thoughtful grandpa who had taken good care of me from baby till I graduated from university. A grandpa who always played with me and my brothers, bought nice food for us, prepared hot water for me to bath each day before headed to school, prepared healthy breakfast for me. He was a good grandpa. I missed him so much.
After a week, I was backed to my hubby's place. I worked and started to prepare my wedding. I feel heart broken each time I think about grandpa.
December, exactly the month for me to get marry. After 6years of relationship, 1.5years of engagement, I got married to a man who I loved and love who I am. Relatives came back Malaysia attending my wedding. I was very happy, sigh, grandpa not managed to wait and see I got married. This year, dad took us for family trip in Penang. I cherished every second of this trip.
Flashback 2013, it was indeed a year full with happiness and grievance. I gain and I lost, someone I truly loved. Appreciate people around us, spare sometime for them instead of keep yourself loaded with works, because by the day they gone, it will be a forever farewell. Care about the old ones, parents, siblings and let them know how much you love them.
Well, that's all for my 2013 recap. How's yours? I bet everyone will have their up and down moment. Just keep moving on, that's how's life should be. As we aged gracefully, we became wiser, we care more and we love more.